The Most Essential Spiritual Question – Matt Kahn

The Most Essential Spiritual Question – Matt Kahn

in the old paradigm there was an
essential spiritual question that for a lot of beings took them so far in a
spiritual journey and is wonderful of a question as it is the question was not
designed to take you all the way and even as as teachers have incarnated to
bring forth their contributions their questions their enquiries to the
spiritual path they themselves know this isn’t meant to go all the way it’s to a
certain point now we’re at a point in history where teachings can be offered
to take you all the way knowing of course all the way doesn’t reach a point
of completion but that a point of completion is just a doorway into
another brand new beginning so in some ways the path will never end but what we
do bring to a completion is the seeking the suffering the frustration the agony that we think is caused by our everyday
lives and then depending upon how much time you spend in the spiritual funhouse
he realized that it’s not just everyday life that causes the seeking and
suffering but that it’s very possible to be on a spiritual path and for that
spiritual path or the way you approach spiritual spirituality to enhance the
seeking and suffering it is no gift to introduce you to a spiritual path and
for you to be worse off than before you started just now with a bunch of crap to
keep straight just now if more things to fail at in
the old paradigm the question that seemed to get a lot of popularity and
seemed to open up so many doors and consciousness was a question called Who
am I and beings would sit and contemplate the question of Who am I and
oftentimes they would sit and they would actually wait for an answer as if some
voice in their head is going to talk back and they would say Who am I Who am
I and the objective of that question was to receive an answer which is the first
oversight if done with clarity the question Who am I would be seen to have
been asked by the same one who is listening and there could be a simple
recognition of the one who asks and the one who witnesses or listens is one in
the same but to make that kind of leap metaphorically is-is-is is like an Evel
Knievel leap across the Grand Canyon it’s not that obvious for people to go
Oh Who am I the one who asks and one who’s aware is the same one instead it
was just Who am I for years and then that intensity of spiritual drive would
cause people to be so intense on their journey they wouldn’t remember to be
pleasant human beings in some cars in traffic gets get out of
my way I gotta get to work for other people let’s get out of my way I’m
asking Who I am and lo and behold you could be on a spiritual path and you
could have the same mentality and patterns that play as anyone else and
that’s primarily why there is an awakening of consciousness right now
that is literally transforming every aspect of the spiritual journey because
what we’re finding out and this is no fault to the old paradigm because the
old paradigm was only designed to take you this far for a new paradigm to
emerge and while it seems like the new paradigm is making the old paradigm
useless it’s basically just saying this is as far as these old teachings can go
and we must have something that takes us further which is why I represent the
loving what arises paradigm because that loving what arises will take you all the
way and today the most essential spiritual question will be a question
that will assist you in going all the way in the most heart centered way
here’s another reason why in the new paradigm the question Who am I has its
limitations because the realization in the old paradigm was I’m not who I think
I am but the realization of of am not who I think I am would then shift your
consciousness into something else that you are which is just more of who you
think you are even when you wake up and say I’m not my thoughts that’s a thought
I am that prior to thoughts says a thought and thoughts aren’t the problem
by the way I don’t know problem with thoughts here’s the rule of thumb if
thoughts don’t have problems with you why do you have problems with thoughts
if problems don’t if thoughts don’t have problems with you having problems with
them why do you have problems with them if you can be mad at a thought and blame
it for the pitfalls of your life and it doesn’t even get mad at you that sounds
more like a Zen master than a nuisance so when we start to take a look there’s
things that we start to see in a very simple way that start to reveal
something much deeper and part of the thing with Who am I why it’s not also
very practical or doesn’t go as deep as it needs to is because the question of
who you are at a certain point of your journey does not matter would you agree
that you are the one hearing and feeling and seeing the things you experience me
it’s a very simple question without getting too caught up in that those you
know teachings of there’s no I there’s no self put all that aside cuz that’s
not gonna help you doesn’t even matter I once had a dialogue with someone about
they’ve said but there is no I I said good then no one in the way to stop you
from loving yourself good easier to follow the practice see the spiritual
nonsense someone says if there’s no I why should I practice and what I say is
if there’s no I no one in the way of the practice that’s more masterful so you’re
the one having experiences of seeing hearing and feeling cognizing choosing
your having experiences in this world that’s that’s your testimony what people
don’t realize is that the sense of I or that experiences belong to me or I’m
having experiences that’s a part of experience it’s kind of like if you go
to a concert am I in the balcony I’m gonna am I in the ground floor am i in
the front row no you’re actually in the clothes
see possible it’s called I am and I am is the experience consciousness has so
for you to say I’m not my experiences and not my thoughts but that’s what you
came to do is experience it as if you are so in the new paradigm the Who am I
question doesn’t have to separate us from experiences we just have to see all
experiences will feel as if they’re yours doesn’t that feel a lot easier so
when you say why do I feel like these emotions are mine because that’s the IM
experience oh I didn’t know that see doesn’t that make it much easier and a
certain level you will always feel as if experiences are yours
and if there’s the sense of no they’re not mine that’s actually a fragmented
state of consciousness so I want to give you a better question because the Who am
I sets us up for a bigger journey it’s a wonderful question it will not take you
all the way by any stretch of the imagination you’ll just walk around
keeping things straight telling people who your not or what you are and it
won’t mean anything you don’t get through lines faster you don’t get
preferred parking it won’t matter it won’t matter at all so let’s talk about
and again there are students on this path and I met a lot of them who are
like defenders of the Who am I question that if I say what I’m saying right a
metaphorical lynch mob we created get him he’s talking about our question okay like sometimes you in this world
you can walk down certain neighborhoods and people feel territorial like why are
you in our neighborhood right like gang mentality people are like that in the
spiritual feel to what are you doing with our question that’s our question
what are you doing so in the interest of I’m just gonna give you something better
to look at and the reason I say that is because Who am I is a lovely question
however there’s something it doesn’t guarantee which is one of the most
important things in a heart centered journey in the old paradigm you can get
away with I’m so intensely driven to become an enlightened master you’re not
that nice all the time that’s a big problem it’s a big ass problem I
shouldn’t have to be nice no you should see these old spiritual paths I don’t
know which way they want it if it’s all God why would you not be nice to God so
instead of Who am I which doesn’t guarantee you’re going to
be a nice person which is essential for the deepest stages of awakening because
if you haven’t noticed anytime you’ve ever heard stories or had
experiences with angels they’re quite pleasant they’re quite pleasant you’ve never met
an angel with like a five o’clock shadow who’s just just upset just get over
there okay just go over there alright I wish it which angel are you
I’m Archangel anger Tron just get over there I could be in heaven
right now get over there you don’t see that angels are lovely
so if angels are lovely and spiritual people aren’t always that nice what the
hell are we missing and what we’re missing is the most essential spiritual
question in all of existence don’t hold it in you’re gonna hurt yourself it’s only something you know so what so
yes thank you so what is the most essential spiritual question very
important because it has to be a question that reminds you where you are
in your hearts inner journey reminds you how it has to be a litmus test of how
unconditionally of a loving being you are which not I don’t mean that to judge
yourself but just to kind of tune in of like how am i doing how am i doing we
have to kind of be able to see because the reason is even when I teach the
loving what arises do you know what typically happens in a human mind and
this is very normal typically the understanding of love
being important or the remembrance of I did that a few times becomes a
replacement for I love myself regularly so you go how do you love yourself
regularly oh yeah totally which is usually I understand that
teaching I resume with it I will vote for that teaching or
I said some I love yous for a couple seconds I’m not logged in my memory but
what we want to look at is loving yourself not only as a way of
transforming your reality but as a way of transforming the fabric of
consciousness for the well-being of all not just for ourselves but for the world
we want to look at loving what arises as a lifelong practice we can’t look at it
as a goal-oriented thing kind of like the who am i question which is why that
question got totally totally useless is because there was such a goal-oriented
question right Who am I once I figure out who I am but love is not a goal
oriented practice it is I’m gonna love myself more not less and when I am
overflowing with love I’m gonna love even more do you see what I’m saying so
the most essential spiritual question will show you where you are in your
lifelong cultivation of unconditional love instead of asking Who am I you ask
this question who do I become when I don’t get my way isn’t that a juicier
question right you can be a spiritual I am the self I’ve realized there’s only
one I am that really okay so self who do you become when you don’t get your way
as you proclaim from the rooftops your eternal nature what happens when that
fully realized being is inconvenienced isn’t that getting deeper to the heart
of the matter who do you become when you don’t get your way do you try to
sweet-talk the situation until someone gives you what you want do you say oh
I’ll stop everything on a dime for someone else so I expect them to do the
same thing for me oh you won’t give me what I want we’ll then let me just tell
you all the reasons should until you do you’re not gonna
give me my way well pardon me while I politely break down your defenses who do
you become when you don’t get your way a bargain er a negotiator a manipulator
and at a certain point we’re all gonna be these characters and you have to get
through this in order to get to something deeper you have to be able to
see Wow when I don’t get my way here’s who I become because even saying I don’t
have any way to get as a cop-out a real enlightened master says when I don’t get
my way it’s okay they don’t pretend they don’t
have a way it just doesn’t matter there they go
oh I thought this was gonna work out it didn’t so I’m just gonna go over here
and do something else oh they can’t give it to me I’ll give it to myself who do
you become when you don’t get your way who do you become when you’re not
recognized the way you want to who do you become when you feel invisible to
the world who do you become when you do far more for others and they don’t even
have the awareness to repay or reciprocate that behavior to you who do
you become when you think life is unfair the corrector does the amateur life
coach manifest in your mind to put you under a spiritual microscope and like a
vulture pick at your bones until there’s nothing left oh geez I just had a
thought now I got to deal with that damn life coach again shit you and again you’ve heard me in many
videos deconstruct old teachings like deconstruct the mistress misperception
of acceptance deconstruct the misperception of every teaching do you
wonder why I do this because on a spiritual path you’re taught certain
ways you’re supposed to be and that becomes your egos new way to get so when
you can’t accept the way it was classically taught the question remains
who do you become when you don’t get your way I’m trying to accept and you’re
not getting your way now what are you gonna beat the crap out of yourself I
can’t accept that’s my new way I can’t get it so
someone’s gonna pay do you see what I’m saying isn’t it strange how there’s a
list of the laundry lists of things you’re supposed to do right on the
spiritual path and that becomes the egos new way an ego can get mad at someone
else for getting in the way of their spiritual process not realizing that
anything that gets in your way is your spiritual process I remember many years
ago before I started teaching I was at a chanting festival and I sat I was
sitting down getting ready to chant the sacred names of the divine right just
sitting right what was I doing I was just sitting occupying space right
and someone said do you mind scooting over a little bit what and mind you we
were sitting like we were all touching body to body there was no room in this
place for anyone to move and she said do you mind scooting over a little bit I
said if I scoot over I’m gonna be in their lap I don’t think I can do that and in that moment she was not getting
her way I was in the way of her spiritual experience not able to see
that I was her spiritual process in action and she says I don’t like that you’re
sitting that close to me and I said I appreciate your honesty thank you very
much thank you very much perhaps there’s a chant that will resolve this oh yes so
isn’t it strange how of the old paradigm you learn a teaching and an old teaching
says hey gang here’s the problem all you got to do is this and you go I’m gonna
do that and you come out of the seminar whatever you came out of with this is
what I have to do each day and when you seemed unable to do that that’s another
form of I’m not getting my way and you’re not seeing the deeper thing of
the classic question that life will confront you with is not what have you
learned on a spiritual journey not what have you realized not who do you think
you are not what is truth none of that actually matters it’s bold for me to say
that but your everyday life will will confirm the fact that of any of those
questions mattered it would make a difference in your life and it really
doesn’t you could know the deepest truth of existence and you will still be
frustrated and inconvenienced until the question at the forefront of your
consciousness is who do I become when I don’t get my way who do I become when
life doesn’t go my way who do I become when I imagine an envision a perfect
scenario and it doesn’t seem as if life is taking suggestions from the floor it’s okay to be frustrated it’s okay to
be angry it’s okay to be agitated because in the old spiritual paradigm
what you were taught was if you just do these special commands you won’t have to
be frustrated or angry or agitated and then you became frustrated angry and
agitated at the things that got in the way of your special steps and commands
not realizing you can be frustrated angry and agitated because those are the
experience that helped you make peace with when life doesn’t go your way does
that make sense so wouldn’t it be easier instead of saying I can’t be frustrated
angry and you know irritated and then you get irritated when people make you
angry and frustrated I’m not supposed to do this I’m spiritual now you’re ruining
my new costume people are gonna see me and they’re gonna write about this I
will be exposed instead wouldn’t it be easier to say hey
I can be as frustrated agitated irritated and angry as I want because
this is just the feelings of my body that helps me make peace with the fact
that life won’t always go the way I think it should doesn’t that feel
healthier it’s okay that I’m angry I wanted life to go one way and it
certainly isn’t time to rage time to rage I don’t need to rage on people at
people I can just silently stew in fury I’m not getting my way boy I hate this
hate that God that is healthier than telling yourself what you shouldn’t feel
and getting mad at people who didn’t interrupt imaginary spiritual processes stop bothering me I’m trying to accept
what is like little children yelling at their older siblings for ruining their
tea party with their teddy bears the truth is when you’re agitated love the
one who’s agitated when you’re frustrated love the one who’s frustrated and if even that frustrates you fine
that’s not unwelcomed love says come-as-you-are meanwhile you’re the one
waiting to be on your best behavior before you enter the kingdom life
doesn’t want you and your best behavior life wants you as you are now so the
reason why the waiting room to get into heaven is so overflowing with people is
because they’re waiting to be on their best behavior before they enter why just
enter but I’m mad good good there’s a lot of happy angelic people here it
would be a nice change of pace so angels walking around heaven where all the mad
people that’d be fun to have some angry people where the angry people I mean
yeah it’s nice everyone’s angelic and glowing and that’s nice but where’s the
angry people so when your spiritual path is not centered in a question of who do
I become when life doesn’t go my way who do I become what I don’t get my way you
tend to suppress your emotions which is trying to get in the way of an
natural healing transformational process already underway in your consciousness
and you tend to blame and judge people who get in the way of an imaginary
spiritual process because an imaginary spiritual process is defined by if you
do X Y & Z you can avoid feeling a B and C and you can fill in those spaces with
anything and it’s all imaginary it doesn’t work it never will work it can’t
work because you’re not going to use spirituality to avoid something you’re
gonna use spiritual insight to see from such an expanded perspective like this
that you’re judging and pushing away instead of it being a barrier to your
greatness it could only be a catalyst of your highest potential so that make
sense so we’re we’re in spirituality we’re saying how can I see this in a way
so it’s a gift to welcome instead of an enemy to avoid or a person to judge and
persecute and what gets you into that clarity is who do I become when life
doesn’t get my way and what makes it so fascinatingly transformative is when you
get frustrated and angry you go oh of course I’m frustrated angry what’s not
going my way right now you ask yourself the question what isn’t going my way
right now and then you figure out why you’re feeling that way oh I’m angry
because I want things to go this way and they’re not no mister anymore
magically the feeling unravels because you’re being totally honest with
yourself you’re not playing this stupid game this is I can’t feel that way I’m
too big for that emotion really really nope I’m not that anymore I’ve
transcended the human condition I no longer feel those things I am incapable
of being angered give it a second and life says bring in the clown car
bring in the calamity bring on the misfortune because misfortune will
manifest in your life until you become honest with yourself boy I wanted it to
go this way it doesn’t seem like that’s happening and I hate it that’s honesty
and you have a right to say that because that is a healing cleansing confession
if it’s true for you can you feel that like oh I’m allowed to do that you’re
allowed to do that by how disempowering is it to be a spiritual being that
doesn’t have the right to act and be the way you’re naturally are it’s one thing
for unconscious negative beings who give themselves permission to do god knows
what with no consciousness at all but here you are a conscious being who has
less rights and freedom than a person who’s totally asleep and that can’t be
anymore you have to have the right and privilege to say I will feel and
experience everything and I will see that my most despicable behavior is
always centered around something not going my way and I’m not gonna pretend
like I can learn this spiritual modality that makes life go my way more often
that’s more nonsense instead I’m gonna make peace with what if I can be so
honest with myself first of all what if I could admit that when life doesn’t go
my way it’s because there are greater spiritual gifts for me to receive in
life going in a different way than I have planned so what if I can see that
when life doesn’t go my way it’s actually going to wind up being better
even if the beginning stages of better feels shitty what if I were to tell you
the funniest honest-to-god thing about the human journey is that feeling shitty
is the foreshadowing of things are getting better
oh my god my life is in shambles there’s no hope whatsoever that could only mean
that things are gonna get better and isn’t it strange how true that is so
what if you could make it your business to say when life doesn’t go my way there
are gifts of my evolution they’re gonna help me grow to my highest potential
whether I like it or not I don’t have to like any of this that’s
that’s like rule number two you don’t have to like any of this trying to like
your journey makes it really hard to love the one who’s on it so give
yourself permission and dislike and hate your journey as much as you can so yeah
so that you have more space to love the one who’s enduring it I don’t like my
journey great great and a lot of people I work with they go oh I’m allowed to
say that ya can say anything you want having the right to hate is what brings
to mind the right to choose love because the one who hates the one who intends
who insists to have things go one way is crying out for love because the part of
you that wants things to go one way is because it’s you saying I needed to go
one way to make sure that I’m safe avoiding the pitfalls I want to avoid
guaranteeing the higher things I want to experience because all of that that I’m
trying to guarantee for myself is a substitute for the love that I don’t
know that I’m worthy of so why are we all hell-bent on getting
our way because we think that’s going to give us the fulfillment that only our
love can provide so it’s okay when life doesn’t go your way it’s okay when you
don’t like the life doesn’t go your way it’s okay when you’re irritated angry
sad passive-aggressive it’s okay when you’re jealous it’s okay when you’re
lonely and it’s okay that you wish those things were different and I’m not going
to call that resistance I’m gonna call that honesty you want to have the
easiest way overcoming resistance I’ll do it I’ll help you overcome it in like
three seconds how do you overcome resistance it doesn’t exist there you go because if you were to oppose something
that would be the natural experience that’s arising out of that moment and
for you to say that you shouldn’t be the way you are is now a form of self-denial
you will resist whatever that means until you love the one who doesn’t know
how to feel safe until life goes their way so rather than you know tattletale
to the spiritual police on how often you resist and complain to your friends
about it what terrible spiritual person you are why not love the one in you who will
fight tooth and nail to get your way and even if you got your way he would then
fight tooth and nail for something else that you want until you realize it’s not
about surrendering your wanting it’s not about transcending your desires it’s
about loving the one who acts this way because that within you that wants a way
to get really just wants love it hasn’t
received enough love to know they’re worthy of having it directly love the
one who uses getting their way as a substitute for the love they’re scared
will reject them if they ask for it someone once asked me a dialogue
I said thy will be done and nothing happened I said you want to know why
because you say thy will be done and you’re still tryin to get your way you
say thought will be done on universe goes nice try
that’s old paradigm it’s wonderful when it’s relevant but we all on this planet
by and large are at a stage of our journey but through the majority of us
spiritual beings on this planet we’re way beyond that stuff we’re at who do I
become when life doesn’t go my way that’s where we’re at how do I behave
when no one is looking am i demonstrating what I know in all of
my relationships when someone treats me unfairly do I say to myself that’s it
that was unfair now I have the right to treat them that way back and were even
did we become 5 because that’s rough justice when you’re 5 oh they weren’t
very nice now I have the right to be right not not nice back to them and we
even about that’s five year old karma I hope they pushed me off my my bike I get
to push them back off once even it out it’s amazing how we can be spiritually
aligned beings knowing such amazing having such an amazing wealth of
spiritual knowledge and information and when push comes to shove
we become very spiritually interested beings who become five at the drop of a
dime and that’s why loving what arises is the solution or the answer to the
question who do I become when life doesn’t go my way because no matter how
you are when life doesn’t go your way the answer to that question is however
you become when life doesn’t get your way
always deserves more love not less does that make sense so even if you go when
life does it go my way I’m totally at peace good love that one and even the
mild form of arrogance underneath that I am totally at peace and present when
life doesn’t go my way good love that one my person goes oh I didn’t think I
had to love that one like it’s a video game if you’re angry when life does go
up it could go your way love that one when you’re totally at peace love that
one see loving what arises is not just a cosmic fire extinguisher that you aim at
your heart when you act ridiculously Oh getting frustrated
get the hose hose them down with some love and then when you act peaceful why
wouldn’t you love yourself when you’re peaceful why not give yourself that
positive reinforcement so it’s not just when I’m acting ridiculous that I love
myself it’s when I’m acting anyway I love myself and then that obliterates
all pretense out of the spiritual journey so it’s not using love as this
reward and Punishment of like I was loving today for but for most of us
that’s I wasn’t very loving today and then you act like loving yourself as
this prize and I can’t give myself the prize because I didn’t earn it and where
we become the spiritual beings that withhold love from ourselves
while trying to motivate us you know through a spiritual obstacle course that
no one is asking us to complete another aspect of the question is not
just who are you and life doesn’t go your way here’s a fun one see how this
one tastes see how minty fresh this feels who do you become when other
people don’t get their way oh right because there’s old when I don’t get my
way that’s okay well who do you become when other people don’t get their way
and they lose their shit around you does that motivate you to become the amateur
life coach needs to give them a minty pearl of insight and you lean into the
conversation that you’re not even a part of you should accept what is sure it’s a
perfect time in that person’s life to receive that teaching right
hey anger you know what you should do you should accept what is which would be
funny if the angry person said if you accepted what is you’d let me be angry
I’d love to see that and just laugh that’d be great
I just thought my imagination was awesome you were all there we loved it
and then we got around both of them we loved him those was fine so the question
that pinpoints the fact that the mastery of your spiritual journey occurs in
everyday life within your relationships is who do I become when life doesn’t go
my way who do I become when life doesn’t go other people’s way and the remedy is
loving yourself more not less not trying to not feel a certain way and not
punishing or persecuting yourself when you do act a certain way the difference
is when you’re a conscious being you’re able to experience all emotions without
them blinding you and you barfing them on other people and then you wake up out
of some like blind rage and wait why are my hands around someone’s neck right now
this is interesting hope this is some sort of pressure point massage nope I’m
just angry wow this is not good news this is not a good situation right now I
think I’m now a suspect didn’t know that was gonna happen today Wow you could
feel emotions and the more natural it is to feel emotions the easier it’s gonna
be for you but in order for you to feel emotions from a place of true freedom
it’s gotta be okay and by the way being okay doesn’t mean you’re gonna like it
let’s just be honest you’re not gonna like things you feel you’re not gonna
like a lot of things would that be the funniest side welcome to earth I’m sorry
just get it out of the way welcome to earth you may not like this a
lot of it’s lovely but you’re not gonna like everything you don’t have to like
everything you don’t like anything you don’t have to like anything ever you
cannot like anything for the till the end of time and you’ll be in more
harmony if it’s okay here’s what’s so funny if you had
mission – not like anything at all you’d start liking everything much faster and
people that can’t seem to have the most conscious relationship of loving
everything it’s because they don’t have a right to despise it take this moment
for example and just as a refreshing moment of emotional freedom in whatever
way you want take just one moment and give yourself permission on the inside
not on the outside just on the inside on the inside give yourself a moment to
despise anything go for it and what a lot of you feel is when I give you full
permission to despise it melts or there’s nothing there because you can’t
hate and despise with permission you can only do it when you think it’s not
supposed to be it’s like a rebellion against self judgment but if there’s no
judgement about it then all of a sudden the harmony that’s already within you
starts to bubble up and then you realize well if I despised anything wouldn’t
that be the next one in the lane to be left and then you start to realize the
deeper dimension of these teachings whatever I’m feeling is next in line to
be loved if there’s no one here feeling this if there’s no one with whom these
feelings belong if there’s no I whatever love the one who defends that position
love the one who uses dogmatic spiritual reference points to hide from the fact
that they’re afraid to surrender and let love in it doesn’t matter whether you think
you’re a person or not what matters is if you have something to defend what
matters is that you can be in the presence of someone who believes
something outrageous and how quickly it pushes your buttons and gets you into a
debate where you need them to switch positions before you open your heart to
them who do you become when life doesn’t go your way it’s the greatest question
in existence because it will always bring up that oh and not to not to
persecute not to judge but to show you that if there are situations where you
are not living in a natural state of harmony that is the aspect of your heart
that says I’m acting ridiculous as an alarm clock that roars in your
consciousness to remind you to stop what you’re doing and love me now and if you
don’t I will destroy everything in your life and so what you do that’s called
the shadow self and when you love yourself the shadow
unravels the defenses of your ego melts and the ego goes from being this
inflated expression of unconsciousness to just being the mask that your inner
child wears while your inner child is a costume that your higher self adorns and
then the inner child the higher self come together like parent and child has
the mind and the heart merged together and holy matrimony and all of a sudden
you’re no longer using your everyday life to judge how
you act in behave you’re just gonna say however I act may I be loved more not
less how others behave may they be loved more not less it doesn’t that strike you
as a more heart centered and rewarding journey doesn’t that doesn’t that strike
you as what brings all the pieces together when you walk through the gates
of heaven and I can tell you because I’ve actually had this experience many
times visiting heaven and where this is heaven but I’m talking about actually
going to heaven and that experience walking through the gates of the whole
thing I will tell you heaven doesn’t reek of self-realization
it’s perfumed with love so which one should you give your life to
self-realization that it’s basically just gonna be a series of concepts you
talk about when people don’t listen their life’s not going your way it’s not
gonna work and only works when you’re around people
who are equally interested in that topic and when you’re around people that are
equally interested in that topic then you can sit around correct one another
oh boy oh boy oh boy oh you’re super yourself realized while I’m super duper
self-realized oh really I’m mega self-realized oh really well
I’m a super duper mega self-realized and we can play this you know I got this
pissing match and pretend like it’s entertaining or what I would love to see
in the new paradigm is for a being to listen to someone else and say I feel
and acknowledge your pain you deserve more love not less may I be the love
that you’re here to receive no oh you need some space that’s okay I’ll give
you space and I’ll go love my own heart and may it find its way to yours
that’s what I’d like to hear I’d like to see beings who resolve everything with
love which includes the ability to feel every emotion so it’s not this
tattle-tale game of I was angry today when I
should have been loving that’s not what I’m saying I’m saying when you’re angry
love that one I’m not saying be loving instead of anger I’m saying anger is a
chance to love a part of you who’s not getting their way does that
clarification make sense it’s not I should be loving instead of fearful love
the one who’s afraid that’s what I’m saying in the old spiritual paradigm it’s I
should be this instead of that and that sets up a very very difficult journey
what I’m saying is be however you are and love that one and if you can’t love
that one accept this one is only here to be loved I may not be able to love them
at the moment I accept that’s the intention and one day I’ll be able to do
so honesty you can’t love what arises without honesty even when you say I
loved what arises and it didn’t change how I felt I know now love the one who’s
disappointed love the one who was loving what arises only for the mystical door
prizes they were ready to receive we say what’s the point love the one who’s
looking for a point love the one who only acts and behaves nobly if it’s
working towards a bigger payoff you want to know the grace of nobility no one is
going to notice any of your good nature but you and if that’s enough that’s true
nobility you’re gonna cross the gates of heaven there was no one watching your
noble actions but you but your noble actions it’ll makes you comfortable in
your skin so I mean the act of nobility on the spiritual path is I didn’t act
nobly because I pretended there was this camera watching me and all the angels
were great me and then I went to heaven and saw
whether I got the gold medal of nobility nobility is no one’s watching you but
you and I just couldn’t live with myself unless I was acting out the kind of
nobility that I know is within me that’s what nobility is nobility is
grace with no other payoff and what gets you
in alignment with that grace with no other payoff is loving yourself otherwise it’s just endless agendas
endless anticipations of greater payoffs and trying to work very hard in your
spiritual path when not noticing it doesn’t matter how many texts you read
how many quotes you remember doesn’t matter how many things you understand
how many things you could teach to other people that seem misinformed how many
hours a day you can meditate when the meditation doesn’t even begin until you
walk out your front door how do you become when life doesn’t go your way saying there’s no one here won’t help
you because for beings who staunchly proclaim there’s no one here they sure
make a lot of noise don’t they that’s why I call this path the Love
Revolution it is revolutionary in its ability to unravel the old spiritual
paradigm and to bring you to the heart of your own eternal mastering and to
align your deepest spiritual interests with the recognition that every
relationship and conversation you are having is a chance to bring greater
nobility to the forefront and if that seems missing from your life or if that
seems like there’s more nobility to bring forth it is loving yourself more
not less that allows you to put all these pieces together not only as a gift
for your journey but for the well-being of all reminds me of one the most sacred three
word mantras sometimes life sucks it’s not lovely it’s lovely cuz that’s honest
if it’s okay if you’re if it’s permit Abul for life to suck
you’re gonna go way further on this journey otherwise what a lot of beings
are doing and I say this to help people in this perspective is life sucks which
is just the difference between life’s plan and my plan that’s what sucks means
I had a plan didn’t know life had a plan surprise my plan is not the one that’s
going to be implemented and our human response to the difference between my
plan and life’s plan is sucks that’s what that word really means how’s your
life sucks oh the difference between your plan and life’s plan I see there’s
meaning there but what a lot of spiritual beings do is they bring up all
their spiritual work that they’ve done as if it’s supposed to like mean
something but I’ve opened all my chakras I’ve activated my DNA I’ve shifted my
light body I’ve done all of these things surely I should get my way now and isn’t
it you laugh because you see that’s not what any of this is about at all do you
see that now it’s not about that at all it’s about every way in which life
unfolds is your highest destiny action you may not like what is arising as
catalysts your highest evolution but it’s always guaranteed to make you more
evolved and more masterful somewhere down the line and in honor of what I’m
unveiling with this essential question let me also offer you some little pearls
of insight that you can just feel in your body and help make peace with this
because it’s okay that you’re not used to life not going your way it’s okay
that you don’t know how to be okay with life not going your way as you know I’d
like to a lot of repeat after me so let’s do a
review now a couple were paid after Me’s and try making peace with this because
the more we make peace with this inevitability the easier it is to love
ourselves because how many of us have tried to love our hearts and go I can’t
feel it do you want to know why we don’t feel the love when we do the I love yous
is because we haven’t made peace with life not going our way work loving
ourselves as a way of trying to get our way it’s not what this is about we love
ourselves to make peace with life not going our way so an attempt to help you
make peace with us and bring you to the forefront of your highest reality just
try these words out loud I don’t need to get my way in order to be happy try it
again I don’t need to get my way in order to be happy even when there’s that
voice in her I don’t know where you say I don’t need to I don’t need to get my
way in order to be happy in the voices but it sure would be awesome and I agree
it would be awesome it would be awesome it would be awesome
it’s probably not gonna happen that’s the alternate ending of the DVD
try this one out loud even if I always got my way I’d wind up receiving far
less then what life has in store for me once
again even if I always got my way I’d wind up receiving far less than what
life has in store for me and when that starts to crack the ego open there’s
that say what and what we’re starting to realize is life’s divine plan your
destiny is so destined think of the word destiny destined the word Dustin does
not mean circumstantial so you trying to find your destiny is now making it a
circumstance if it’s destined it doesn’t even require you to look for it if it’s
destined you could spend your entire life trying to avoid it and all you’re
gonna do is collide with it destined means it’s going to happen maybe not the
way you want it to happen maybe not the timing you wanted right maybe not it’s
going to happen I don’t need to get my way in order to be happy and even if I
always got my way I’d wind up receiving far less than what life has in store for
me these are the pillars of faith and whether you’re mad that life’s not going
your way only thinking you’re gonna be happy once it gets your way trying to
find a spiritual path that’s gonna teach you the magical code to get your way
love that one more about less and even when you’re in your everyday life and
someone triggers you or you’re frustrated what is a smart awakening
being say well this is my spiritual journey life’s not going my way time to
love this one it’s okay honey I know you’re angry yes I know they’re not
being very fair I understand call them whatever name you want to call
I’m on the inside on the inside people on the inside it’s a love revolution not
a Revolutionary War inside voices you can call someone on the inside anything
you want you can have whatever thought you want about someone do you know why
because the the process the internal process of judgment is you releasing out
of your crown chakra all the pent-up energy that hasn’t been expressed so
when you think I can’t judge someone that’s a very noble thing to say but if
you say consciously I’m gonna let my ego judge them on the inside to process and
release out of my crown what needs to be healed now it’s a spiritual process I
mean you can judge someone sitting next to you they can’t hear you you can
scream in your in your mind at them they don’t hear you no one is listening to
your mind but you and when you allow yourself to have thoughts about
situations you’re processing the energy that allows you to heal and resolve what
that moment’s trying to help you transform why can’t you use every single
thing in your life to your advantage to spiritually grow why is there anything
against the rules when nothing’s against the rules
that’s how you come into alignment with your highest consciousness but in order
to come into alignment there can’t be rules there can’t be rules at all and
it’s not like I’m you know and peep then people get all this exaggerated thing
they go we’ll you know you’re not gonna like you can’t hurt people as if if I
said no rules that’s gonna make people hurt oh that’s it
Matt gave me permission I’m gonna go hurt people none of us are gonna hurt
anyone the only ones we hurt ourselves and we hurt ourselves by the silly rules
we hold against ourselves that don’t mean anything if you’re angry and you
want to judge someone just give yourself a minute and say I’m just clearing
energy out of my Brown give yourself two minutes and just
unload they’re not gonna hear you and you’re letting that shadow part of
yourself if it’s still existing to release energy and then once that energy
is released you can go okay malke I can love the one who’s frustrated I can love
that one now but you got to give them a voice the people you’re mad at don’t
need to hear anything you have to say only you do so just doing it within
yourself as much easier because they have no answers for you and God forbid
you share out loud what you want to say to them they’re not gonna be guaranteed
to give you the kind of feedback you want they’re gonna probably say
something else that flips you out and then here we go again who is the only
person who knows exactly what you mean you so who should you talk to you like
why go to other people most of the time other people have nothing for you they
have their experience which is not your experience so if you have something to
unload on about your experience who should you go to you someones not loving
you enough in your reality who should you go to you who’s the one
that’s gonna love you more than anyone else in existence you and if you don’t
even like the fact that you’re the one that’s gonna love you and you have a
fantasy that’s some super duper person’s gonna love you more love that one no
rules only love and then you can be in the presence of
anyone and whether you get their way you’re not getting your way they’re
getting their way they’re not getting their way no one’s getting their way
here at situations like that where no one’s getting their way it’s fascinating
I was in one of those beside forever had situation but I’m ever saying to the
person you know if none of us are getting our way we have the opportunity
to have more fun it’s not like someone’s getting their way well they got their
way none of us are getting our way so let’s enjoy ourselves and isn’t that the
hilarity of the spiritual journey if we took a poll hey everybody how many of
you how many of you are getting your way in your life I never want to be like
looking around like not me that’s not going my way for sure holy jesus I make
a plan and life destroys it that’s what that’s going on for me and I said hey
everybody how many of you are not getting your way and everyone raises
their hand well if in a spiritual community no one’s getting their way
then we should all be able to have fun together we could say hey you’re not
getting your way I’m not getting my way let’s party and that’s what the love
revolution is no one’s getting their way but everyone is loved more not less in
the end you’ll see that that will be the sweetest deal you’ve ever been given
because as I’ve said if you always got your way you’d wind up receiving far
less than what life has in store for you because every way you want life to go
everything you want from life is only to make you safe from moment to
moment and life already knows you’re so safe and taken care of it wants to give
you more to bring you out of your shell so it’s not just having something to
ensure your safety and security but receiving such a journey that safety and
security aren’t even issues that you come fully out of your shell as the
guest of honor in this cosmic play where we are all the guests of
honor in this magnificent celebration where our forms are the living evidence
that only the Deline is here you’re not gonna get your way for the
most part but you are gonna meet your fate and your fate will be far greater
than any way you try to negotiate with life and that my friends is why the
universe is so silent no matter how many questions we ask because life knows
everything’s always conspiring in our highest favor we just have a tendency of
not believing it’s conspiring in our highest favor until life starts going
our way more often and as of today you’ve been freed of that you don’t need
life to go your way in order to see that it’s always conspiring in your highest
favor instead you say life is causing me to grow into my highest potential the
most miraculous way and I don’t have to understand or even like it in order to
participate in the emergence of my highest potential in the beginning you
have nothing but questions in the end you have nothing but gratitude and
loving what arises what causes that shift to happen faster than anything
else and as I’ve always said before it’s not just me inspiring you to love
yourself as never before it’s my invitation to you to join me in
loving you the way I always will so I’m not telling you here’s what you should
do I’m saying join me in loving you the way I do and in the meantime I love you
more not less and I speak to you as someone whose journey has unraveled and
clarified so much where I don’t necessarily have a way for life to go
that where there is an advantage or a disadvantage
my only way is the fortune of loving you until you
join me in loving yourself that’s my way and even if I met someone who wanted to
reject the love that I give to them what they reject is their journey my journey
is only defined by what I provide an offer and even the one whose ego rejects
the love that I offer an ego can reject the love that they offer but because it
has to come through my heart first the heart of one the heart that beats in the
bodies of all by the time the love even comes through my heart to get to them
it’s already been distributed to all hearts in existence so one who rejects
this invitation is simply excluding themselves from a gift that has already
been delivered into every energy field across time and space and they’re free
to do so this is the gigantic party not everyone has to eat cake but there’s
always a slice waiting for you I love you I love you I love you I love
you I love you love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love
you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love
you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love
you when you love what arises you forget
what you’re defending when you love what arise it’s not like you surrender your
defenses you go what was it defending it’s magical
you bring the lovin and the love Rob’s you of your defenses and positions you
go what was that defending what way did I want to get mad enough can you move on from the space of experiencing in endure
and unraveling what is unraveled to bring you these deep teachings I’ll tell
you the funniest thing I’ve realized and please don’t believe me you’ll find out
for yourself but loving yourself will be the only way you figure this out it’s
not getting your way not that big of a deal getting your way not that big of a
deal and then people go so what’s the point the point is to love yourself more
not less whether you want to get your way whether you’re mad that you don’t
get your way whether you think it’s a big deal loving yourself every step is
the point and you are here to love yourself more not less that you
remembered that you are the angel who was sent here to guide the evolution of
a being as you’re training in the angel Academy and becoming a spirit guide but
what you weren’t told is that the life you would be guiding as the angel or
spirit guide is the body in which you inhabit so you are the angel guiding the
life and times of a character that you’re also portraying and playing out
you are your spirit guide in form you are the angel you’ve been waiting for
and it’s loving what arises that brings your angelic presence to life all as well cuz you’re here and I’m here
to remind you of who’s here with you I know who you are you’re the supreme
grace of love and action do you whether you do or not when I love you at a time
everything gets resolved healed awakened and transformed faster and more
miraculously than ever before and if you’ve been taught than anything about
this as a dream love yourself relentlessly until it all blows up then
we’ll see what’s true because truth is not a one-word answer that you can
defend against someone else’s claims truth is how much time you have spent
loving the one that you are and allowing the godliness of your true self to wake
up within you and then when it wakes up within you you keep loving yourself and
your godliness ripples out into the outer spheres of your energy field until
the entire world around you is a reflection of your own vibration that is
the love revolution that is our mission and as always with love in my heart I
thank you for your participation in this matter you

79 thoughts on “The Most Essential Spiritual Question – Matt Kahn

  1. Thank you Matt. I was laughing out loud while listening to you. Cause sometimes the most obvious thing is so ridiculous. Why pretend not to be angry! 😀 I gave my permission that everything sucks. And it was such a peaceful moment. I loved the one that arises and then I said I love yous and then I felt tears running down my cheeks. I felt so comfortable and remembered many many nights that I cried myself to sleep. But it wasnt a painful memory. It was carthatic to me. Thank you so much. I am glad I found you or you found me…It was destiny :*


  3. i came up with an acronym for the new paradigm #IAGBAM – it means "I', A Goddess Beautiful And Magnificent" we should all say that to ourselves constantly because we are all angels 🙂

  4. People ask.. "Who's your spiritual mentor?" Why…. Matt Kahn, of course!" I get more out of his videos than most people Ive heard/seen in person.. I cant wait until he is back in Grass Valley:))

  5. Oh god, that feels so good. I'm so intellectual that it feels so good to hear him say its okay to let the amateur life coach step aside and just love it as it is. You are lovable as you are now… how wonderful..

  6. Well, 5D has already happened people! We have already ascended! Don't wait for external signals to validate internal realities.
    For the past 3 weeks life has been very awesome for me, I find myself getting GROUNDBREAKING ideas, just knowing stuff…and thinking "Well, this was obvious, why did it take me so long?", and I noticed my will has changed, I have accomplished more in this month than any other, and making change is easier: that inner division has gone, I feel an uncanny sort of inner power like I can do anything I put my energies to. Then there's my aura: about 4 days ago, I used to visualize my aura as light waves of color, but a couple of days back I was meditating and now it looks more like colored glass than light…sort of a living crystal if I can put it that way…it's awesome!
    My preferences are changing…new people are coming into my life, not juts new people but the rightest people ever and it feels like "Damn you! Where had you been all this time! I've been looking for you like crazy…it feels like completion and yet it feel likes a grand opening. All of this has been happening with such a precision and at such break neck speed that for the past 7 days I've been emotional, always on the brink of tears or extreme laughter…it's like everything is being born or something. Well, on the other hand to be honest, all the major challenges in my life have come up with a vengeance it's like the vicious assault of the last round…that's exactly what it is…but the moment I recognized this…I saw it exactly for what it was: purging.
    There's this voice in my head asking "Will I ascend, did I do good enough? Am I perfect yet? Which rules did I miss? I still suck at that, I still suck at this, Oh god I have SO MUCH to learn still" but there's this knowing in my heart saying "You're already here, it is all here. It's here to teach you what you don't know yet" So for everybody waiting on a certain date for things to suddenly explode into existence, I feel like they're overlooking what's already going on now…remember this energy release is a bell curve, and September the 28th is the peak…now if know what a bell curve means, then what I just said makes perfect sense!
    We have crazy good days awaiting us ahead…so in celebration of the crazy to come, the crazy in me salutes the crazy in you: namascray 😛 Live your highest joy, always!

    ACCEPTANCE AS LOVE – Just so beautiful- I am a nurse so accepting you is fine
    Myself Not So EASY <3 TYTY

  8. I think it's nice to acknowledge the anger if you feel it. But anger is like knowing something that does harm to your body. Why would you want to continue to allow it? Why not ask why am I letting this thing make me be angry? When you're angry you are getting too lost in the illusion. In spiritual growth I think it's about dealing with your demons or shadows. And you get to a place where you no longer feel anger. Love and light friends

  9. Matt, hello Dear Dear One, I thank you most sincerely for helping me. No where on my journey have I resonated to anyone as I do to you. Your clear and concise teachings are so profound, so easy in their simplicity. I love, "Thank you for helping me" : I acknowledge your suffering. I am sorry for your suffering" " I love you"
    Words fail to express. I look forward to meeting you some day. Peace Love and Light on your magical journey. Thank you Julie as well for the magic you bring forth in this TrueDivine NAture expression.

  10. Jeeeeeeej eternal victory!!!! Congratulations. May everybody have a happy free lovely day.
    Love you all
    Hiererdepiephoera, yha that's how we do 😉

  11. I've known people who've been meditating daily for decades and still seem to unquestioningly identify with their self-image, which is only a mental and emotional construct. If you observe what it is that identifies, the mistaken identity starts to be exposed. You see that there's an "awaring" that's more "I" than any mental or emotional construct. And if you start paying attention to this habitually, not just during meditation but throughout the day, you tend to more and more recognize yourself as the awaring, the being, instead of whatever the content of that is at any moment. And because you recognize yourself as that which doesn't change but underlies all change, you find deep inner peace and stillness.

    You can caricaturize this by pretending it's the practice of asking "Who am I" and waiting for an answer, but really, who does this? Only people who have totally missed the point of for example Ramana Maharshi's teachings on self inquiry. You can lump together or create a straw man of people who have misunderstood a teaching and use that to represent that teaching, and put the judgmental label "old paradigm" on it, but that's not honest. But I suppose even this has its use – as always reality is paradoxical. Matt uses a polarizing rhetorical device to bring across a unitive message.

  12. When the woman asked you to move over, wouldn't it have been appropriate (as a person conscious of his evolutionary spiritual path) to simply leave? To sacrifice your spot in the chanting fest, for the comfort of another?

  13. Symmetry on 150. And I failed Mathematics. I got angry I was poor at it. So, blessings to the fact I would shout education can be bullshit to those teachers. And to you dear Matt, I was told by a spiritual person she said; almost sarcastically (if it was an internet game play) – you looked like a bank teller man … I simply laughed and smiled because it dawned on me… Who are we to deny any action or emotion? Love to you. Live and love to the rest of us. Thank-you.

  14. Matt, thank you! This is just what I needed to be reminded of. "Love says: come as you are". So simple and beautiful!

  15. Whats your thoughts about ??? our thoughts create our reality SO if I think anger toward some one do I create angry in my life So this bout clearing energy ! So loving that one sorry just reflecting my feelings thoughts

  16. Thank you Matt & Julie for how you both help me to love myself more and more. Once again, I was brought to tears of realization as the Truth coming through your words echoed within my heart. I have been following your teachings for about a year and I keep being blown away. Blessings to all of us on our journey home ………………to a place we never left. <3<3 <3

  17. I love you! Smiles and gratitude for all the visits on u-tube I have viewed and listening to. This is deeply felt in my heart.  I never tire of listening, reflecting and feeling the vibrational energy that arises during these times; this is truly assuring & peaceful. We are blessed, may you be blessed. Thank you

  18. His voice … Relaxing and empowering. Stabilising 🙂 raises my vibration to receive the frequency of his sound a lot. Musicians ears 🙂 born to love sound…. Everything has a sound after all as everything is a frequency 🙂 I lovers matt's sound 🙂

  19. The part about we need to be nice awesome of course all of this is awesome but thank you for saying that 🙂

  20. Thank you for sharing, as usual: a good time, laughing. I like the question. I am more of the spiritual master these days and when I'm not just letting go and choosing something else to occupy me, I usually get the understanding that it's not what I am wanting, it is the energy in how I am going about getting, expressing. My inner child and innocence being drawn out intentionally and gently by the universe. I am being moved into more faith and more courage and more self-appreciation with alot of outer validation and encouragement from the universe. Appreciating your sharing.

  21. Holy crap, I chose the right day to watch this a second time, lol Got so much from it aiding me through today's transitions. THANK YOU for making these freely available and doing what you do!

  22. Hello there guys, Oh Matt, that is a good one. I love Archangel Angertron.
    You guys are killing me with your jokes. Keep it up man!
    Love to all now.;-)

  23. Really a wonderful speech Matt. I'm your fan. I thought "who am I" question doesn't need an answer from our thoughts(as it cannot be answered by them) as when we ask that question, thoughts completely will stop for a while to understand what remains are truly ourselves. If one really have that conviction, there would be no need to ask this question "what will I be if someone get on my way". And unless we are completely aware, we couldn't control identification with thoughts and judge them/suffer rather than non judgmental which is love. So we need to have strong conviction that we are not our thoughts so that we need not identify with others thoughts with who they are when they come on our way. I really love your teachings. Whenever I hear a bird, I say "Hey I love you' most of the times in my mind :). Love you, thank you

  24. @ True Divine Nature HOW can people love themselves, when they don't know WHAT love is?????…HOW can they love themselves if they've NEVER been loved,..WHAT IS "love"? that you mention here?..people ONLY love "things"…or what BELONGS to them?…people make love to be something.."EXCLUSIVE"…so how is it possible to turn that INWARD towards ONES SELF?.

  25. much love and respect, so much for matt kahn of course, but..

    instead of asking who do we become when we don't get our way, why don't we just try and get our way within the tao? allow the tao fully and in our activities get our way?

  26. This video provides very useful self-talk eg "I don't need to get my way in order to be happy" "Even if I always got my way, I would wind up receiving far less than what life has in store for me" — good food for thought!

  27. Thank you Matt. Love you. Namaste. Cada vez que te escucho, comprendo algo mas profundo. Desde Buenos Aires Laura ♥

  28. Thanks Matt. I Loved to listen to this one again , while feeling awfull with a bad flu &  left broke completely. Life sucks for me today & I love myself for acknowledging that .

  29. Question… Am I what I think or am I what I believe? I have a faith that I am what I believe not what I think (in the deepest concept of both definitions) I would like an external point of view of this to see how I can relate . Thanks!

  30. I have been doing self enquiry towards the 'Who am i' question for approx 6 months now, and have found it to be the most transformational spiritual teachings i have experienced yet. It has brought me more peace, inner love and clarity than i have ever known in my life. I suppose it depends on who the teacher or guru is, but the teachings and pointings of Sri Ramana Maharshi, and of more recent times, Mooji and Gangaji, have not appeared to be pointless or arrogant, and my personal experience has been that they are very enlightened and non judgemental beings. I still however respect and resonate with Matts teachings, and there is definitely some benefit also to what he speaks of. If we can take whatever pieces resonate within each of ourselves then we become our own guru. Namaste 🙂

  31. Oh…..Mattie; Wow, wow,wow,wow,wow, wow,wow……I love you sooooo much and my gratitude for you cannot be fully expressed but that won't stop me….

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